


It's Fine

by Valmasy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Spoilers, cap 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6778999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valmasy/pseuds/Valmasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like he said, though, it's a bad beat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kjstark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjstark/gifts).



Two months after Tony receives a package from Steve and the Avengers are busted out of the Raft, Rhodey is exhausted from therapy and the weight of his friend’s guilt. To be fair, it’s eased a little since he’d allowed Tony to outfit him with the hydraulic assistance. 

Like he said, though, it’s a bad beat.

But he’s just hurt. He’s not dead. Rhodey is in a stable enough mindset to differentiate. It’s hard to remember that, though, when he looks at his empty room at the compound. It’s too quiet. He feels so alone in that moment.

“It’s fine,” he tells himself. He rubs a hand back over his graying hair and uses the the walker to help himself over to the bed. Tony’s braces are amazing, but he’s still learning. He sits on the edge, staring blankly at the smooth feet of the walker for a few moments before he eases both his legs onto the bed. 

He’d had to fight Tony off on sharing a room, insisting that he didn’t need Tony’s help in the bedroom, thank you very much. They’d turned it into a joke, but the truth is... If and when Rhodey finally has his breakdown, he’d like to be alone. He takes his medication, carefully dosed to just take the edge off the pain, but enough that, when he puts his head down, he’s asleep within minutes. 

Still, he blames the medication when it takes him a little longer than normal to wake up to his instincts. He’s managed to roll onto his stomach during the night and his clock is a blurry three in the morning when he slowly opens his eyes. 

Someone is in his room. 

Rhodey touches the knife under his pillow, the grip of the handle reassuring against his fingers. 

“James,” and it’s a voice Rhodey isn’t prepared to hear yet, but the fractured plea hits him in the chest, constricting emotion around his heart. He takes his hand off the knife and pushes slowly up onto his forearms, letting his forehead briefly touch his pillow. 

“Give me a minute,” he rasps out, voice still drugged with pain meds and sleep. He twists carefully, his legs barely moving under the sheet. He doesn’t look yet, can’t bring himself to lift his head. Instead, he focuses on setting each leg over the edge of the bed. The floor is cool beneath his feet and he finally looks up into the darkness of the room.

Sam is just inside the doorway, standing at the designer chair that no one ever sits in. He’s barely more than an outline to Rhodey, but Rhodey knows Sam better than anyone in the compound. Sam is tense and, as his eyes adjust, Rhodey can see that he’s knuckling the back of the chair almost for dear life. 

“Two months,” Rhodey says as he reaches for the walker. Sam stays silent and Rhodey leaves the light off. He doesn’t want anymore light shed on the situation. “You escaped two months ago.”

“I had to help Steve wi-”

“I don’t care.” Rhodey cuts him off, pulling himself up to stand with the help of the walker. “Not even a goddamn phone call. Tony gets a phone, but I don’t even get a letter. Nothing, not a word. Do you... Do you know how worried I was for you?!”

The words ring loudly in the stunned quiet that follows. 

“You were worried about me? James, you... Why?” Sam’s distressed over the news. “You should be focusing on recovering.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I should be focusing on. I’m doing me, Sam. You keep doing you. And you need to go. Run back to Steve before I have to... Before I have to arrest you.” Rhodey’s shaking. He can’t stop. One hand is braced on the wall and the other is fisted around the handle of the walker. 

It’s hard to concentrate on keeping his legs braced and he slips a little, knocking the walker out of reach. He catches himself on the wall and Sam immediately moves to help, but he jerks back at the last second. His expression is broken and helpless and Rhodey snaps.

“You’re gonna come at me like that?! Like you’re too scared to face me now?!“ He pours all of his frustration and anger into his questions and, by the end, Sam is moving forward with purpose. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam says wetly. There are tears cutting tracks over his skin and Rhodey’s anger is swiftly banked. He startles when Sam drops to his knees. It is so not the right time for this and he’s a little pissed that Sam thinks that this is a good idea.

But Sam only slides his arms around Rhodey’s waist, careful of the braces, and buries his face against Rhodey’s stomach. Rhodey’s shirt is soaked in seconds as Sam cries against him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Sam says on a choked sob. “I never wanted anyone hurt, especially not you. Please. James, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

The words are hitched and muffled and Rhodey’s throat is closing with the thick sorrow welling up inside him. It takes him a moment, but with Sam keeping him steady, he’s takes his hands from the wall and folds his arms around Sam’s head. 

“It’s not your fault,” Rhodey says finally. Tears blur up his vision and he tips his head back, drawing in a shaky breath. “It’s not your fault, Sam. It was... It was...” He bares his teeth, lips trembling as he tries to get the words out. 

Sam coughs out another sob. 

“It was an accident,” Rhodey finally finishes. “That’s it. We knew it was going to be a fight. But it was just an accident. I don’t blame you. Say it back to me.”

Sam shakes his head, shoulders heaving as he shudders his breaths in and out. 

“Say it to me, Sam Wilson, or get the hell out of my room,” Rhodey commands and Sam shudders fully. He pulls back from Rhodey’s stomach just enough to peer up at Rhodey. His eyes are puffy from crying and his voice is hoarse again. 

“It was an accident,” Sam says and he breaks again as his gaze drops to Rhodey’s legs. “It was an accident. James... My James...” 

“Help me sit down,” Rhodey says quietly and Sam nods, getting to his feet to help Rhodey back to the bed. Rhodey sighs as he relaxes. Sam kneels beside the bed, but he’s not touching Rhodey now. 

Rhodey grabs Sam’s hand and laces their fingers together. “I’m going to be fine,” he says and he tries to make it sound as firm as he can. Sam squeezes his hand like its the only thing keeping him afloat. “I’ll be walking almost normal in no time with these. It’s going to be rough, yeah, but I’ll get through it.”

“I want to stay and help,” Sam whispers thickly and Rhodey smiles sadly. They both know Sam can’t be here now. “I want to come home. I miss you. James, I-”

“My name is James Rhodes,” Rhodey interrupts, lifting his other hand to Sam’s cheek. He brushes his thumb over the damp skin and Sam breathes in slowly. “And I love you.”

“James.”

“Say it.” Another command and, like before, Sam shudders. 

“You love me,” he repeats. “You love me.”

“I love you,” Rhodey says with him. “And you love me. And because of that, you’re risking yourself to be here. But because I love you, you’re going to leave now. You’re going to leave and go help Rogers with whatever he needs until it’s safe for you to come back.”

“I can’t lea-” This time, Sam cuts himself off. He wipes at his face and drops his hand to his lap, curling it into a fist. “Tell Stark to give Cap updates, okay? I just... I need to know how you’re doing. Can you, can you do that for me?”

“If Tony decides to use that phone, then yeah, babe,” Rhodey whispers, leaning down to press his mouth to Sam’s forehead.

Sam sighs like Rhodey’s kiss is the very water of forgiveness, a benediction, an absolvement. 

“Sam, be safe, okay?” Rhodey asks and Sam leans up, catches the end of Rhodey’s request with a kiss. It doesn’t go very far, remaining chaste and painful. 

“For you, always,” Sam promises and helps Rhodey back under the sheet. “I love you,” he says again and kisses Rhodey’s forehead this time. “I love you.”

Then, he’s gone and Rhodey’s staring up at the ceiling. He brushes another few tears off his cheek and closes his eyes. 

“It’s fine,” he says again and eventually goes back to sleep.


End file.
